Cartoons and vegetables, the best way to get your children to stop watching TV

Turner Broadcasting, concerned that everyone's children are getting too fat, are producing a show to "rebrand fruits and vegetables". Click here for story. Elfy Food follows a band of elves on a mission to retrieve magical foods from the evil Frank Farter and his monsters, in six two-minute long cartoons. Each episode features a different fruit or vegetable, which imbues the elves with special powers - carrots become "lumo gooms" providing night vision, broccoli turns into "turbo tips", providing brain food and apples become "crunch-a-balls" offering "sportability".

Frankly, this is nothing but false advertising. I've been eating carrots my whole life and not only can I not see at night, I even have trouble seeing during the day. And I eat an apple in my lunch every day. But I'm the least sporty person I know.