Team names are figurative, except in this case

Someone needs to tell Maurice Clarett this simple little fact. Once a player gets drafted by the Giants, they do not actually become a Giant. A player on the Cowboys does not actually engage in livestock management. A player from San Diego does not become an overhyped American Muscle Car.

So when he signed up with the Mahoning Valley HitMen of the Eastern Indoor Football League he may have thought that he needed to, as the slogan of the Hitmen suggests, "Get Whacked Indoors." Why else would he be driving near the house of the witness who will be testifying against him later this month with four guns, a bullet proof vest, and a fifth of vodka. However, since he had drank half of the vodka it really is only a tenth. Click here for story.