Sometimes all it takes is a few hundred viewings, and I'll eventually get the joke.

One of my favorite films is Mel Brooks' History of the World, Part I. I have seen this film so many times, I can recite most of the lines by heart. At Western, I went to a history club meeting, just because they were showing the film (by the way, WIU has a small blurb in the latest Sports Illustrated recapping their basketball jersey flub when they played 6 games as "Western Illinios" page 28).

So I'm watching History of the World, Part I on the Fox Movie Network, which is great because they don't edit anything. The off color jokes, insults and nudity, all the things that make it a great film, are untouched. So I'm watching it and quoting the movie back to my TV, of course, when I get a joke that I had never gotten before. Now I knew the words, but I never got the joke.

It takes place in the Roman Empire portion of the film. Comicus and Josephus are escaping from the Roman soldiers dressed as Senators. As they are walking down the street they find a blind beggar who keeps bumping his head. The beggar is shouting "Give to Oedipus!" I thought the joke ended there. But when the beggar sees Josephus coming he stick out his hand and says "Hey, Josephus!" To which Josephus replys as he slaps Oedipus' hand "Hey Motherfucker."

I had heard that line every time I had seen the movie. And I just never got the joke.

Nice timing Sports Illustrated

The last two weeks I have received issues of Sports Illustrated in the mail. I don't know why. I didn't sign up for them, but I suspect that I'm getting this from an offer in connection with Best Buy. However I got them, it doesn't matter, I'm not paying for them.

Today in my mailbox was the annual Football Preview. A huge double issue just chock full of stats and info that would be incredibly useful for a fantasy football draft. Of course, both of my leagues held their draft last Saturday.

Big gift giving winner: Uncle Phil and Aunt Yvonne

When Nick woke up this morning, guess what he wanted to play with? The Thing motorcycle he loved last night? No. The baseball glove he raised in ecstasy? No. The throw pillows he seemed confused to get? No (yes, Sarah made him pillows for his birthday).

No, when Nick came into our bedroom at 6:30 in the morning he only wanted to play with was the Spiderman plug in video game. But as the audio from this game is just so damn annoying, I told him no. To which he replied "tartar sauce"(thank god, Nick watches Spongebob and not the Sopranos).

The other reason Phil and Yvonne win the gift giving award is their gift of the Star Wars video tapes. Earlier this year, Sarah and I borrowed the tapes of the special editions since Nick was getting into Star Wars simply by the massive marketing to children Lucas did for Episode III. I figured he was old enough to watch Star Wars and Return of the Jedi, which Nick loves (and not for the ewoks, he loves the lightsaber fight with Luke and Vader).

Well, since we had borrowed it some months ago, Sarah thought it was time to give them back. So she told Nick to give them to Yvonne. However, since Phil and Yvonne have the whole series on DVD, she told Nick to keep them. Nick was really happy about that. Now he has a copy of Star Wars of his very own.

Dude, can I get a glass of milk with my fix

The Tribune this weekend published an article which used the Oreo cookie as an example of the dietary problems of the nation. Click here for story. The cookie also seems to have an effect equivalent to heroin on the brain.

The question is just how addictive Oreos are? Why don't we hear of the crazed oreo junkie knocking over a convenience store? Probably because a hit usually costs under $2.

How many pipers is too many

When your trying to break a world record, you can't have too many. This weekend in Scotland 10,000 pipers played "an earth-shaking rendition of Scotland the Brave." Click here for story.

The importance of reading beyond the headlines

While scaning the on-line addition of the New York Times, I saw the headline "Manning's Injury Not Severe, but He Still May Miss Opener" Click here for story. My stud for my fantasy football league is Peyton Manning. My heart skipped a beat.

But luckly, it was the little brother Eli Manning of the New York Giants who has wounded himself.

A dangerous predator in Berwyn

Now we see the allusive Amelia emerging from her den. While she is small she is suprisingly swift. Alas, this was a lesson learned to late by one member of the expedition.

Is there anything lower than a fake Oompa Loompa

A 4-foot tall Reno man who claimed he was in the 1971 movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" has been exposed as a fraud. Click here for story. Ezzy Dame, who now works as a hairdresser, admitted that he lied when he wrote a review of the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory from an Oompa Loompa's prospective.

I only have to questions. First, how does a 4 foot hair dresser cut hair? How many other midgets have put such a lie on their resumes? How many hobbits, Oompa Loompas, and munchkins are just figments of the imagination.

Now, I have seen the new movie. And I believe that as someone who has worked in a chocolate factory, I have a better perspective on the movie than a fake Oompa Loompa. While, I enjoyed the characters and their portrayals by the actors, I found the movie to be wanting. The movie got off track going from one kid's torture to the next. The songs from the Oompa Loompas were difficult to understand and thus enjoy. And the damn boat got old real fast.

As for the chocolate making, totally true. Except that the real Oompa loompas swear like sailors.

I wonder what else you could time with clothing?

A clever bikini maker has implanted a timer into a suit, which beeps after 15 minutes to remind sunbathers to roll over or get to shade. Click here for story.

Even with DirecTV daytime TV sucks.

I was home sick on Tuesday and Wednesday. Even with all of those channels there's nothing but crap on.

Two milestones, one headbutt

Well it took over nine months, but Amelia has her first bruise. Nick butted heads with his baby sister, while trying to razz her stomache. So the odds on favorite to deliver the first sibling wound pays off.

Is it time to have a culling?

Folks in Carmel, California are awash in artists. Click here for story. The problem is that the galleries aren't pulling in tax revenue and too few commodity stores where residents can buy things that are "useful."

This is not an problem just for Carmel. Other communities with large art galleries are also feeling the pinch. Santa Fe, Key West, Fla., and Aspen, Colo., have also found that it is hard to live on art alone. But these and other cities often enjoy revenue from hotel stays, outdoor sports, nightlife and other goods and services.

Now, parenting gets complicated.

Yesterday evening, Amelia started crawling. Nick and I were playing checkers (I won) and she was so enthralled by the pieces (which were colored beads for Magic the Gathering) that she actually started crawling to the board.

Today, Sarah told me that she began to crawl to get the cat food. Now I'm thinking we should get the soft can stuff. On the one hand, the canned food stinks. On the other hand, the chances that the baby will choke on it is significantly lower.

New car smell for geeks

This weekend we bought a new computer. Now we only bought a low end model (tower, monitor and printer for $319 after rebates). But since our old computer was low end five years ago, by comparison this one flies.

Now I'm going through all my software and deciding if I really want it on the new machine. Not as hard as it might seem, since I haven't bought new software in the last 2 years.