The Wizard of Speed and Time

Just a bunch of things I think are interesting or funny.

Monday, February 28, 2005

The greatest threat to liberty

Monday night, Federal Judge Lefkow, came home and discovered two bodies in her house. Click here for story. The Chicago Tribune is reporting that it is her husband and mother. While they do not state it, both the Trib and CNN is implying that this may have something to do with Matt Hale, the white supremacist who was convicted of arranging one of his followers to kill Judge Lefkow.

Going to the Bulls game

Yes I am a fair weather, bandwagon jumping, last second Bulls fan. But I don't care. Tonight, Paul purchased two tickets for the April 19th game against the Knicks. We had planned to use a buy one get one coupon, however in order to use it we would have to buy the tickets the day of the game. But we were actually afraid that the tickets would be sold out. When we first discussed this game, we didn't even think that would be a possibility.

Nothing if not timely

Today the FCC finally ruled that an uncut version of Saving Private Ryan is not indecent. Click here for story. Unfortunately the question came up in November on Veterans Day. Kudos for the right decision, but I think the FCC needs to be a little faster on the trigger.

The question I have is why on earth did it take so much time? It's not like Saving Private Ryan is a new movie. In fact, it had been shown on broadcast TV twice before. I just hope those folks at the FCC don't come out against Benny Hill. He's only been dead for three years. Plus I love it when he slaps that old guy on the head.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Randy Mosher likes my beer!

This Thursday, I enjoyed my monthly bacchanalia known as the Urban Knaves of Grain monthly meeting. This month we had a special guest, Randy Mosher author of Radical Brewing(one of my favorite brewing books) to do a talk on the use of sugars and spices in beer. He brought with him about 20 different sugars, peppers and spices, including 4 different type of corriander. An excellent presentation.

After Mosher's talk, the club did what the club does best, drink. Everyone brought out their brews and shared. I had brought the Aww Nuts Brown Ale which was the subject of previous posts. Well, the origins of the recipe came from Mosher's Book (I made some changes based on what I had on hand). As the evening went on, I found myself pouring a sample for him. Now, I was slightly toasted at the time, but I'm sure he said that it was pretty good and fairly complex. Pretty cool.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Confession is good for the soul

If you and your friends decided to pull a bank heist, make sure you don't have a friend stupid enough to call a radio station a month later and brag about it. Click here for story. The police had no leads in the case until one of the robbers called a radio station and shot his mouth off.

This is the main reason you should not confide in others when you break the law. Break the law by yourself, then you won't have to worry that your dumb friend will open his mouth at the wrong time.

Kitty has feelings too.

A recent report from Scotland indicates that pets may face "master separation syndrome" when their human families divorce. Click here for story. The report also includes a survey of 1,o1o Scots. In the survey 21% believed that divorcing couples should be bound by law to provide maintenance for pets.

Aww Nuts. Alright!

Just opened the brown ale which was the subject of a prior post. Click here for the post archive. It tastes fantastic.

What's a trial without a Judge?

Nothing, that's what. On Tuesday, my first trial, was the third trial scheduled that day for our Judge. When the first trial said they thought they would need 3 hours and the second responded 2 hours, we had to see if another Judge could take us. And after waiting for an hour and a half, we rescheduled. Now this case will not go to trial until June.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Can we go cup crazy without the NHL?

I've read some interesting websites, which suggest that the Stanley Cup is really the property of the Trustees of the cup and not the NHL. Why does this matter? Because if the Trustees want to they could award the cup to a non-NHL team as was done for the first couple of years of the cup. Click here for story. Click here for another.

The possibilities are interesting. Perhaps a great tournament with the winner of various minor leagues fighting for the cup. Or give it to the winners of the top minor league the AHL. Which might mean that Chicago could win it with the Wolves, who won the Calder Cup in 2003. I like this option because it makes Bill Wirtz look like the cheap and inept bastard he is.

First Trial

Well my conversion to the dark side is almost complete. I'm doing my first trial on Tuesday. Now over the last ten months I've written several motions, complaints, answers and orders, but I have not had anything actually go to trial.

Last month I had my first case come to completion, I forced SBC to withdraw a complaint against my client who clearly did not damage their phone line. But on Tuesday is my first trial, I'm so psyched. I will be doing the direct examination while my partner will do cross. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

40 donors can't be wrong

This past Saturday, we had our Blood Drive at Concordia Lutheran. This was the first time we had ever attempted anything of this sort. But the response was great.

When I met with the Red Cross, the nice people who stick you with the needles, they thought that a 30 donor drive was about what we could do. But the whole congregation got behind the effort and we had 36 donors signed up by Ash Wednesday, four more came in as walk ins. In all we had 6 people who were not members of Concordia show up and give. We had 11 first time donors. It was amazing.

And the really great thing, is that the drive was not hard at all. The Red Cross basically ran the whole thing and even provided literature and posters. I got up to speak after church several Sundays to bring it home, but I rarely have problems doing that. I must have had half of the congregation tell me that this was a great idea, so it became very easy to push.

Never ask a doctor if your sick

A study just came out which claims that childhood obesity is not a problem. Unfortunately, the study comes from the Social Institute Research Council, a food industry think tank. Click here for story.

No sir, you are a woman.

Yesterday, the Illinois Appellate Court affirmed a trial court's ruling that a pre-op transgender is legally a woman, thus negating her marriage and preventing her from having standing to challenge for custody of the child of her wife. Click here for story.

Monday, February 14, 2005

I love my job.

A recent story on CNN.com explained that companies are concerned with employee bloggers sending out sensitive or inappropriate information on their blogs. Click here for story. And since most employees are "at will" employees, companies are having no problem dismissing them for the posts on their blogs.

So, I would just like to say to the folks at the firm, I love my job.

Overtime loss

Well tomorrow the NHL will cancel the season. Most people outside of Canada haven't missed it.

On the one hand, I'm going to miss the NHL playoffs, which are the most exciting playoff series in sports. But on the other hand, the Blackhawks were not going to be in the playoff even if they did play so I'm not realy that bummed.

Send in the Clowns

The Michael Jackson trial is starting to get moving. And while I find celebrity trials to be horrible examples of the law and the legal profession, this disdain provides just the right amount of bile for a great blog entry.

Today, the Jackson camp released its potential witness list. 370 people are on the list, most of them celebrities. Click here for story. This long list of celebrity endorsers is Jackson's attempt to remind the jury that he's Michael Jackson. That's Michael Jackson, the famous singer and not Michael Jackson the famous freak.

I'm not sure it's going to work. The longer the jury is in the same room with Jackson, the more they will be observing him. And I wonder if this vast celebrity endorsement will annoy the jury, because by the 50th famous person they just might realize that their being sold.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Now that's a powerful union.

The Australian Manufacturing Workers Union is currently negotiating with Toyota for 12 days of "menstrual leave" for female workers on the production line.

According to the Sydney Daily Herald: (note no link, happy Phil)
"These are women who are working on a production line, standing most of the day, welding, painting, grinding, bolting cars together - very tough work - doing the same work as men.
"But they said during that one time of the month, they were having real problems are they felt it should be recognised."
Mr Cameron said many of the female workers clearly had a problem.
"Many women have excessive cramps, many women have headaches, many women have nausea, many women can't concentrate and they're on a production line," he said.

Go to church, or God will drown you.

A free Presbyterian minister in Scotland has claimed that the Tsunami was God's punishment for not observing the Sabbath. Click here for story.

A deep thought for the next time your tempted to sleep in on Sunday.

If you think steroids are a problem

I know baseball players are superstitious, but I don't think they actually believe in Black magic. But the sport of boxing in the Congo is not baseball. A Congolese boxer was recently charged with using magic to beat his opponents. Click here for story.

I don't know if they are using magic, but they have the art of trash talking down. One boxer claimed he "will beat [his opponent Willie] Nkandu and carry his wife with me to Congo so that I can display her as a trophy of my victory." He also wanted to bring a coffin to the match for his opponent.

The secret of being a great lawyer

This morning I was in Federal Court on two different motion calls 45 minutes apart. The first was on the defendant's motion to reduce a bond, the second was a status hearing. Of course, I didn't want the first motion to pass. And I wanted to get more time, about two weeks, in the second.

At the first hearing, when my case was called, the first words out of my mouth were "Good Morning, your honor, Peter Young for the Plaintiff." The judge then proceeded to tell the Defendant's attorney that the very statements made in her motion, are the precise reasons for the bond. Thus, he was denying her motion. The second sentence from my mouth was, "Thank you, your Honor."

At the second hearing, when my case was called, the first words out of my mouth were "Good Morning, your honor, Peter Young for the Defendant." The judge then asks for the status of the case. Opposing Counsel tells the judge that the audit that his client is conducting of my client will take another 4 weeks. The judge then extends the time for the audit for 4 weeks. The second sentence from my mouth was, "Thank you, your Honor."

It seems the less I talk, the more successful I will be.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Let's see the Patriots fans do this

Click here for a story about an overexcited fan, a butcher knife and certain portions of the male anatomy. On the upside, this dope won't be able to reproduce.

We don't yell at our children enough

Tonight, Sarah was putting Nick to bed. It was time for Nick to brush his teeth, but of course, Nick thought it was time to play hide and seek using the stool in the bathroom as a hiding place. Sarah was less than pleased.

Sarah put her hands on her hips and said in a loud voice "Nicholas Daniel."

To which our four year old responded, "Momma, my name is Nicholas Daniel Young." And he drew out the Young as only an annoyed four year old can.

I tried really, really hard not to laugh.

Thursday, February 03, 2005


Oh no, those savage barbarians are taking away our fair damsel Posted by Hello

Dad's new Harley

My dad just bought a 1998 Harley Davidson Electra Glide Classic. I am so jealous.

Now it doesn't actually surprise me that he bought it. He's had a motorcycle since before I was born. But since we're going to the motorcycle show next Friday, I didn't think he'd get it so soon.

Oh well. I'm not any closer to getting a motorcycle of my own. In fact, the wife thinks I'm nuts to even go to the show, since the only scenario which would allow me to actually get a bike includes either a sweepstakes entry or a armed robbery. And neither of these is likely to happen.

Not my dad's new bike, but one close to it Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Mmmmm, Beer.

An Australian woman was recently convicted of fraud when she tried to sell cases of "Duff Beer" on the internet. Click here for story. For those who don't know, Duff beer is the brand on the Simpons.

This scam is not as farfetched as it sounds. During the early 90's, a few Australian breweries did make "Duff Beer", until the lawyers at Fox heard about it and forced them to stop. The cases in existence immediately became collectors items and can sell for $1,000 a case.

The funny thing is that this woman used her actual name and address when she attempted to run this scam. Maybe she had just a bit too much of that wonderful Duff.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Norway's paranoid too.

A twelve year old boy unwittingly set off a terrorist alert in Olso when waiting in the parking lot he pulled his cap over his face. Click here for story. A kid with his cap pulled over his face is such a rare sight in Scandinavia in the middle of winter.

Abortion and the DNC

Some people in the Democratic Party are adovacting that the party move away from it staunch support of abortion on demand. In fact that seems to be the platform of Tim Roemer, a former congressman, who is running for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee. His website can be found here. This course of action was recently championed in Altantic Monthly article, which suggested that the party is harmed more than it is helped by its unwavering support for Roe v. Wade.

Even Howard Dean and Hillary Clinton seem to be getting in on the action. Senator Clinton recently made remarks in a speech that Democrats need to be more tolerant of people who are opposed to abortion and gay marriage because of their beliefs. Click here for the story in the New York Times. Howard Dean is also making statements that the DNC must become a home for pro-life democrats. Click here for story.


So that's why there are so many new breweries in Scotland

Two news stories from Scotland. The first is the emergance of smaller high end breweries in Scotland. They are now experiencing the mirco-brew revolution which we had in the 1990's. Click here for story. The other is about the Scottish First Minister (basically the Prime Minister of Scotland) telling a group of school children that its Ok to get drunk once in a while. Click here for story.

One can only hope that those children are only drinking good beer. When you get the OK to get hammered from the highest executive officer in your country, you should use the good stuff.