This will make Monster the busiest website in the world.

Well maybe not Monster. But apparently a job board in Scotland is running postings for lap dancers. Click here for story and discussion. I just wonder if they are required to post a photo with their resume.

But is it wrong? I don't know. It's a legal job, and not nearly as annoying as telemarketers, and I see ads for those jobs everytime I'm on the CTA.

My lunch with Sand People

Since I have purchasing power at Ennis, salesmen are always asking to take me to lunch. As a general rule I politely decline, but this Monday was different.

We use sand on some of our markers to help them adhere to the road. Well on Thursday (a day after my order was due), our current sand supplier informed me that they doubted that they could ever supply us again with the grade that we use. So I spent the afternoon trying to get quotes for a new supplier as fast as I could. This new company was able to come in on Friday with sandwich baggie size samples. Nice but not nearly big enough. So on Monday I got 3 50 LBS boxes of sand, which was approved by QC. Then I ordered a tote (1.25 ton) that afternoon.

As they provided excellent service, I accepted their hospitality when I was asked out for lunch. We went to a nice Italian place. But on the drive back to the plant, we rode single file to hide our numbers.

Is Krispy Kreme sending messages to folks on Harlem Ave.

The neon sign for the Krispy Kreme in Summit is broken. Going south it reads "Hot hnuts" which strikes me as being slightly perverse. Going north it shouts "Doug Now".

Victory!

My fledgling law firm had its first trial today. (Technically this isn't correct, I did have a trial in a divorce case but since we had worked everything out beforehand it was more of a hearing, as nothing was in doubt.) The Judge found in our favor, and I'm getting fees and costs paid by the Defendants. Wheee.

A funny sidebar, just before we entered the courtroom, I instructed my client to completely turn off his cell phone since Judges hate it when those things go off in court. So ,we begin the trial. I'm starting my opening statement, when a phone rings. Everyone looks at each other, but it was the Judge's phone.

English Premier League starts tomorrow, or today depending on where you are.

The best soccer leaguein the world starts its season tomorrow. I'll be rooting for Newcastle United. Come on, one of the songs the fans sing is "Who the Fuck is Man. United". You just can't beat such hated for another team. Just like when New England Patriots fans broke out in the "Yankees Suck" chant during the Pats first Super Bowl Celebration in Boston.

Chocolate is both holy and unforgiving

Two stories involving chocolate came to my attention today. First a harrowing tale of a man who fell into a vat of chocolate. Click here for story. At first blush this may seem like a dream right out of Strange Brew, but after spending two hours in the goo, I doubt he was having that much fun. But perhaps he was having a religious experience.

Which brings me to story number two. The Virgin Mary has made another appearance, this time in the dark chocolate drippings from a California chocolatiers vat. Click here for story. At least she's no longer in the cheese sandwich.

Team names are figurative, except in this case

Someone needs to tell Maurice Clarett this simple little fact. Once a player gets drafted by the Giants, they do not actually become a Giant. A player on the Cowboys does not actually engage in livestock management. A player from San Diego does not become an overhyped American Muscle Car.

So when he signed up with the Mahoning Valley HitMen of the Eastern Indoor Football League he may have thought that he needed to, as the slogan of the Hitmen suggests, "Get Whacked Indoors." Why else would he be driving near the house of the witness who will be testifying against him later this month with four guns, a bullet proof vest, and a fifth of vodka. However, since he had drank half of the vodka it really is only a tenth. Click here for story.

Partial Success

New batch of Root Beer. Tastes good, well carbonated, but no head. Its hard to think of Root Beer without a head. But pretty good to drink.

If only this were true

According to The Oxygen Channel, three of four women would prefer a new plasma TV to a diamond necklace. Click here for story. The Girls Gone Wired survey of 1,400 women and 700 men aged 15 to 49, which was conducted by market researcher TRU, found that given the choice, women would opt for tech items rather than luxury items like jewelry or vacations. The study found 77 percent of women surveyed would prefer a new plasma television to a diamond solitaire necklace and 56 percent would opt for a new plasma TV over a weekend vacation in Florida.

Then why do they complain when we go into Best Buy?

Well at least he wasn't a hound dog

Imagine your an Elvis memorabilia collector. And you've acquired the childhood teddy bear of the king. And you've decided that such an object of note needs to be displayed at a museum, so you choose the Wookie Hole Caves museum, which from the website appears to be a lot like The House on the Rock. Now posterity can enjoy this wonderful piece of music history.

Or the guard dog can use it for a chew toy, which is what actually happened. Click here for story. The dog, 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor.

This is no surprise to me. Our dog loves to eat stuffed animals, particularly ones that have been receiving attention which he feels should be directed at him. I am also not surprised at the reaction of English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, the owner of the bear. It seems that when he spoke with the General Manager of the museum he was "not very pleased at all."