The Wizard of Speed and Time

Just a bunch of things I think are interesting or funny.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Will Mancow start talking like Marty Robinson?

Last week Mancow was fired from his morning gig on Q101. It seemed to make as much sense as the station dropping Loveline at night. But the company boys did it anyway. As for the show itself, I enjoyed flipping between it and Morning Edition on my drive to work. It made for a bi-polar commute.

But Mancow has landed on his feet at WTTW, Channel 11 in Chicago. At Channel 11 Mancow will be an occasional commentator, on Chicago Tonight. This is all the more interesting because Carol Marin is one of the hosts on Chicago Tonight. Ms. Marin, one of the most decorated television anchors in Chicago, famously left WMAQ over that station's decision to hire Jerry Springer as an occasional commentator. So will Ms. Marin leave Chicago Tonight? Apparently not accoring to this story in the Chicago Tribune. "This doesn't trouble me, and I'm interested in seeing how it will play out," Marin said Thursday, two days after Muller's debut on the public broadcaster's signature show, which showcases her as regular contributor. "I don't think anyone is committed one way or another to this being a long-term plan or not. I don't think they know."

I don't know if Mancow's persona will be effective in one to two minute pretaped and edited segments. The best parts of his show were when things were going off the rails and he was improvising. The scripted parts, and there were plently of them, was my cue to go to WBEZ. With a scripted, vetted and edited commentary, I doubt Mancow will remain at WTTW for long.

And Paul, it's an even dozen of links.

Once again working for the Man...

This week I started a position at Ennis Paint working as a Production Planner/Scheduler. The company is based in Texas and just acquired a plant in Niles which makes road reflectors. My job will be to plan the output of this plant to meet customer orders. Of course, my goal will be to do it as quickly as possible, as cheaply as possible yet retaining all of the quality possible. Since the company is still integrating the Niles plant into the mix, we get a new computer system on Monday. But I think everything will turn out alright.

The good news, besides the job, is that since I don't have to move anywhere I will be able to keep the law office open as well. I simply will have to limit my practice to avoid litigation. But wills, trusts, contracts, leases and other transactional stuff I can still do. Plus one hour of legal work pays the same as one day production work, so that's a nice benefit.

Monday, July 24, 2006

How to win the War on Terror, from Parade Magazine

This Sunday, after I had read all other interesting sections of the Chicago Tribune(Main, Perspective, Sports, Metro, Q and comics), I was bored and was leafing through the Parade Magazine. For those who don't know, Parade is nothing but one celebrity fluff story after another to make the reader feel connected without really challenging their intellect. An example would be this story on Donovan Patton, who plays Joe on Blue's Clues.

While reading the article, I learned that Donovan is a cousin of US General George S. Patton. I wonder what Old Blood and Guts would do if he found out that a relative of his made a living playing games with a cartoon dog.

But when I was discussing this article with Eric, a stroke of genius came over us. What if we played Blue's Clues to find Osama Bin Laden?!? Joe can solve any puzzle with three clues and 22 minutes. He could jog around Afghanistan and children off camera could shout "A clue! A clue!" Of Course, Joe wouldn't be able to find it because he would look over the wrong shoulder, but with the persistent calling from the audience, he would get the clues. All we need to do is put the thinking chair on a warship with cruise missiles and the game can come to a quick and pleasant end.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Hedging your bet

This article from the Norway Post actually begins, "ManU striker Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, who is back after missing nearly three seaons to injury says he may play for Norway in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, if Norway qualifies." The first quote is "There might be a chance I will still be around for the next World Cup," he said.

Norway has only qualified for three World Cups, the last being in 1998. On their first successful bid in 1938, they lost their only game in the final competition to the future world champions Italy, pushing them all the way to a 2-1 victory in extra time. The Norwegians had to wait another 56 years for their second crack at the title.

Most likely, Solskjaer will be watching the World Cup from his sofa.

Care and Feeding of pythons.

Generally speaking, people should feed pythons either lab mice or rats which are cheap and easy to get, according to kingsnake.com a leading website on the care of ball pythons. IF your python is still not eating they suggest gerbils, though they are more expensive. They do not suggest electric blankets.

Some dude in Idaho left an electric blanket in with his python to keep it warm. When he gave his python its rabbit for dinner, it decided to eat the blanket as well. Click here for story.

How is this news

According to a Tribune Article, a massage therapist has been arrested for allegedly initiating an act of prostitution with an undercover police officer at a massage parlor in Buffalo Grove. Click here for story.

It might be a story if she hadn't been a prostitute.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Harvest Time

The only thing that seems to be going well these days is the garden. We are getting the first cukes and picklers today. The Sunflowers are taller than me and are about ready to bloom. We've started picking the herb garden for dill, sage and chives. And the pumpkins vines just can't be stopped.

The only issues are that the vines (pumpkins, cukes and picklers) have taken over the north bed. I'm not sure the tomatoes will be able to compete. And the raspberry bush never started.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Proof that even NASA scientists can be converted to Good Ole Boys

Time to move NASA from Texas. We've sent those highly skilled minds to a place which has a degenerating effect. A safety jet backpack needed some repair after it almost came loose. So what do the brilliant brains at mission control come up with, duct tape. Click here for story.

And don't worry about any antennas fellas, we got plenty of coat hangers here in the station.

Can Moses lead a team to the pennant?

The Tulsa Drillers of the Texas League (Double A) recently handed out Moses Bobblehead to the first 1,500 fans through the gate. Click here for story. According to Drillers spokesman Brian Carroll "We'll probably draw two kinds of people for the game: the Moses fans and the bobblehead collectors."

Moses fan? I mean who are these people? After the Red Sea and the Ten Commandments, he was really just resting on his laurels. All the hip people have moved on to Daniel or Ezekiel. Moses is so 3000 BC. Being a Moses fan is almost as pathetic as being a Monkees fan.

Monday, July 10, 2006

No More Monkee Business

Today CNN reported that despite the upcome rerelease of the first two Monkees Albums, Davy Jones has declared that he would not go on tour with the other Monkees if his life depended upon it. Click here for story.

Whose asking to see the Monkees live?

Weird Website

Even though my wife tricked me into getting a cat, I am not a cat person. So when I heard about the website, Cats That Look Like Hitler, I had to check it out. But I wasn't too impressed.