Heaven in multiple glasses

Last night, I made my monthly pilgrimage to John's Buffet in Winfield for the monthly meeting of the Urban Knaves of Grain, the homebrew club which I belong to. After the 20 or so minutes of actual discussion on things like the Drunk Monk challenge and other upcoming events, the real meeting took place. Everyone got out their bottles of homebrew and the tasting began.

The beers last night were superb. The ones I remember were:
Cherry lambic that had been aged 5+ years
Imperial bourbon barrel brown ale
American Amber
Three different Christmas ales
Imperial Porter
Hefeweizen
Two different IPAs
Oktoberfest
Barleywine
Oatmeal Stout
Belgian Pale Ale
Pale Ale
There may have been more, I don't remember, but the selection was especially good last night.

Even the least of the beer served last night was pretty good. A guy new to brewing made a basic ale. Which reminded me of my first brews and how far my brewing skills and knowledge have come.

Should TO play?

TO participaed in practice yesterday and said that he expects to play in the Super Bowl. Click Here for story. If he does he will be playing on an ankle just 6 1/2 weeks after surgery. His injury usually takes 8 weeks of recovery. The team doctor has not cleared him to play, but TO thinks he can and has offered to play to Andy Reid, the Eagles coach. I don't know if he should play or not.

But I do know that when Curt Schilling was almost universally applauded for his toughness when he pitched game 6 of the ALCS on an ankle days after surgury that had never been tried before. His wounds were so fresh that his sock was bloody after the game. It was said that Schilling's toughness broke the 86 year championship drought of the Red Sox.

The Eagles have never won a Super Bowl. Until this year, they had not even been to the Super Bowl since 1980. The last three years they lost in the NFC championship game. TO was brought in specifically to get the Eagles to and win a Super Bowl. If he plays and is successful, he will be lauded. If he plays and is injured more seriously, he will become a tragic figure, for his unwise display of hubris.

In the end, TO is a grown man and a millionaire several times over. There is no way that he has not been made aware of all of the possible consequences of playing. I say it's his decision. And he wants to play.

If the simple country life includes this, I'm moving to New York

When people dream of getting away from it all and moving to the country, there are certain things they picture in there heads: wide open spaces, amber waves of grain, purple mountain majesty and perhaps a white picket fence. I doubt that anyone has ever dreamed of a 2,000 ton pile of manure. But these massive dung piles do exist near large feed lots. But that's to somewhat be expected, all those cows just can't hold it in until its convient for us.

But the fact that these huge dung piles catch fire at an alarming rate is more problematic. Click here for story. CNN reports that a huge pile of manure has been burning for the last three months just 20 miles outside of Lincoln, Neb. I wonder if this is God's way of doing the old flaming dog doo prank on the entire city of Lincoln.

Only mostly dead

A North Carolina Medical Examiner was "startled" when the body he was examining took a breath. Click Here for story.

I wonder, is this the creepiest thing that can happen during an autopsy? Sure some things are just gross, but to have a living body on the slab and not realize it would give me the willies.

Make love, not war

The Freedom of Information Act can reveal just how stupid our government can be. Documents made available under the act show that in 1994, the US Air Force actually looked into making chemical bombs filled with potent aphrodisiac, so strong that enemy troops would succumb to their lust in demoralizing homoerotic ways. Click here for story.

Oh Buster, tell me what's real

The campaign to rid children's television of any hint that there just may be homosexuals out there somewhere, has just gotten slightly more ridiculous. The new Secretary of Education has critiqued PBS for an episode of "Postcards from Buster" which shows two lesbian couples in Vermont. PBS has decided not to distribute the episode stating " our decision was based on the fact that we recognize this is a sensitive issue, and we wanted to make sure that parents had an opportunity to introduce this subject to their children in their own time." Click here for story.

I know for a fact that gay couples actually live in Vermont. And I'm not sure how their existence is a sensitive issue. I doubt the fact that there is a bunny rabbit who dresses in a polo shirt and khakis going around the world taking pictures. I understand how Buster's existence could cause major questions of faith upon the young impressionable minds who watch public television.

Don't you think a billboard just screams "stalker"

Today, CNN reports that a man in Florida spent $17,000 on a billboard to ask his estranged wife for forgiveness. Click here for story.

When this woman walks into court to get the divorce, she will have no problem getting the restraining order.

At least it wasn't a Nazi armband

OK, here's the scene. You're the President of the United States. You're proud of, and often exploit, your Texas heritage. You're a former governor of Texas. You even send your daughter to the University of Texas. So when the University of Texas marching band passes by during your inaugural parade, you and your daughter proudly show the "hook 'em horns" salute.

Unfortunately, the "hook 'em horns" salute is exactly the same as a hand gesture that Norwegian Satanists and heavy metal fans use. So when the Norwegian News site, Nettavisen posted a picture of Jenna Bush showing the sign with the caption "Shock greeting from Bush daughter". Click here for story.

How far do we carry past sins?

JP Morgan Chase & Co. admitted that a bank which it purchased last summer, Bank One, had as one of its predecessor banks a bank in Louisiana which held slaves as collateral on loans prior to the civil war. To its credit, JP Morgan Chase & Co. has established a $5 million dollar college scholarship fund for african-americans in Louisiana.

But that is not enough for Alderman Dorothy Tillman, she wants the Bank barred from doing business with Chicago, since it said last year on an affidavit that it had no prior dealings with slavery. Click here for story. I can see her point, you can't testify in an affidavit one day and change your story the next.

What I wonder is how did this all come about? The Sun-Times reports that JP Morgan Chase & Co. spent 3,500 hours researching Louisiana bank records, this of course takes time. If they did not know about it until now, its really not that surprising. They should be commended for bringing it to light.

The bigger problem is with Bank One. They took over the bank in question in 1998. They had much more time to research whether or not their predecessors dealt in slaves. Did they declare? Why is this important, because at the new Soldier Field, Bank One's logo is plastered just about everywhere you look. Soldier Field is a city owned stadium. How is it that JP Morgan is threatened with the loss of all city business, while Bank One, which was in a better position to discover the problem was allowed to be so integral in the building of the new stadium. It seems like a twisted version of musical chairs, where whomever has the company when the music stops gets nailed.

And none of this really goes to the legitimacy of the city policy. There is no allegation that JP Morgan Chase & Co., Bank One or any of the predecessor banks broke any laws. The ordinance only requires that companies who do work for the city disclose if they, or their predecessors, hand any financial ties to slavery. The ordinance does not penalize companies who state that there was a connection with slavery. However, few companies want to endure the public relations nightmare that may come from such a revelation.

Feel the power of the dark side

In conjunction with the new Star Wars movie, Hasbro is releasing a special edition of Mr. Potato Head which can be turned into Darth Vader. Click here for the Hasbro website. Note the way Hasbro describes the lightsaber as a silly part.

Can you have a zoo without an elephant?

There are just some things we expect to see at a zoo. Lions, tigers, bears and elephants. But the Lincoln Park Zoo is sending its one remaining elephant away. Click Here for story.

This action has people asking, just what animals do you simply expect a zoo to have? It also brings to mind a recent show on NPR's Odyssey that discussed the evolution of zoos. Click here to listen to the program. So what must a zoo have?

When is a hiring freeze not an issue...

When your related to someone in Cook County government.

For the last 18 months, do to extreme budget constrants, Cook County has been under a hiring freeze. Even with this drastic measure the county is looking into raising property taxes, hotel and taxi taxes and a variety of other fees to keep the wheels of government moving.

But yet it come as no suprise that over 2,700 new people have been added to the county payroll. It comes as even less of a suprise that so many of these people are connected in the great Chicago tradition. Click here for story.

Why there are no mullets in P'yŏngyang

It appears that Kim Jong Il hates an untidy coif as much as he hates capitolism. New programs on North Korean television are now warning of the evils of long hair. Click here for story.

WARNING Joke about a tragic death below. Read at your own peril

Today CNN reported on a Florida woman who died after falling from the hotel balcony while doing a handstand. According to witnesses, he last words were "Watch to see what I can still do." Click here for story.

When your death is foretold in a Jeff Foxworthy joke, you might have been a redneck.

Inaugural excess calls for more excess

If you got a huge wad a cash that you simply need to get rid of, the Fairmont Hotel in Washington DC has a package for the inauguration that may be right for you. For $10,000 per night the hotel will wine and dine you with caviar and champaign. But the highlight is the two actors paid to accompany you dressed as secret service agents. Click here for story.

Yet if I were going to blow that kind of dough on actors, I'd take it to the next level. I'd hire more actors to stage an assassination attempt and see if my secret service actors were willing to take a bullet.

The Beatles and more proof I'm getting old

The other day I was listening to Sgt. Pepper's, and I came across the song "She's Leaving Home." I hadn't heard that song for ten years. Back then I always identified with the story of the daughter striking out on her own, looking for more in the wide open world.

But this time, I completely understood the parents. They gave her everything, but no, it wasn't enough for this girl. And she just walks out in the early morning without saying good-bye. What are the parents to think? Obviously they cared for her, but she simply doesn't care for them.

Homebrew Cursing followed by Homebrew Music

Last Saturday I brewed my second brew for the upcoming competition season. I was planning on using up some of the malt that I had purchased for the Scottish Ale by brewing a Brown. Sarah was going to take the kids out for a playdate, so I would have the afternoon and the house to myself. No problems, right.

The problems with this brew started early. I failed to calculate the water right, I spilled the cleaning fluid all over the kitchen, I decided to brew outside on one of the coldest days of the year, I had a massive boilover which took out most of my hops, I forgot to add the brown sugar until halfway through the boil, I couldn't get my wort chiller to work since the outside faucet had frozen so I had to haul 5 gallons of wort (roughly 50 pounds) down to my basement, in getting to the basement the dog got outside.

All of these problems made me change the main of my brew. When I first devised the recipe, I had intended on calling it "Like a Virgin Brown Ale" since I recently purchased "Reservoir Dogs". If you haven't seen it, the beginning scene has Tarantino's character, Mr. Brown, waxing eloquently as to the meaning of Madonna's "Like A Virgin". But because of all of the problems I had with the brew, I changed my mind and will call it "Aww nuts Brown Ale", I used pecans as an adjunct.

After all of that, I still heard the sound which makes all homebrewers giddy, the bubbling of the airlock. That little reminder that the yeast is doing its job and soon we will have beer.

Call me crazy but...

The idea of a teddy bear in a straight jacket just makes me laugh. But apparently some in the mental health field disagree. The Vermont Teddy Bear company is receiving protests after it came out with the "Crazy for you bear" which is wearing a straight jacket. Click here for story.

The company has decided to discontinue the bear, but not until it can make as many sales as it can during the valentine holiday season.

... This guy is.

The people of Arkansas can rest peacefully tonight. The naked jogger has been zapped. Police in West Memphis had been getting reports of a man jogging late at night in the buff. When police came upon a man jogging naked, they ordered him to stop. When he failed to do so, they tasered him. Click here for story.

But in the future, if your naked and the cops want to talk to you, you really should stop.

It may not work as floss, but it can still get you hammered

These are tough times for Listerine. Earlier this month a judge declared that Listerine's claim that it was as effective as flossing was false advertising. Click here for story. Then last week a woman in Michigan was given a DUI because she was messed up from drinking three glasses of Listerine. Click here for story.

I just hope we don't learn that Listerine is somehow responsible for the Colts implosion this weekend.

Forced Confinement for PWS?

A court in Scotland has decided that a woman with Prader-willi Syndrome (PWS) should be involuntarily confined to a group home for three years, some 300 km from her flat in Edinburgh. Click here for the story. The woman, who is also mildly retarded, stated through her lawyers that she did not want to go. But the court decided that it was for her own protection and that she needed the constant supervision of a group home.

For those who don't know Prader-Willi Syndrome is a physical condition in which a person always feels starved and hungry. People who suffer from this are unable to control what they eat, as they are always hungry. Those with PWS often don't live past thirty as they eat such an enormous amount that they almost invariably suffer from morbid obesity .

But what good is confining this woman for three years going to do? There is no cure for PWS. For three years, the Scottish Government will be able to, in theory, control what she eats. But what happens after three years? Is this group home going to provide her with skills and methods to help control her PWS? I doubt it.

And a more pressing question is the Scottish Government's confining someone for a physical problem which doesn't threaten anyone but themselves. A sufferer of PWS will eat and won't stop, how does this equate to the government having the right to remove them from their home and force them into a hospital, when they can't be cured? Furthermore, this is not a public health question as her weight gain does not effect anyone else. She is only a danger to herself in a long and protracted way.

Now I realize that the Scottish people do not have the same constitutional rights as Americans. But that doesn't mean that this is right.

Hey! Give up some blood for Lent

This Lenten season, Concordia Lutheran Church is sponsoring a Blood Drive. Donations will take place at the Church on Saturday February 12. If your going to be in the Berwyn area stop by and donate.

Playoff predictions

For the last several years, I have listened to, and read football analysts attempt to predict not only the outcome of a game but the final score. In his always entertaining column, Tuesday Morning Quarterback, Gregg Easterbrook has pointed out the consistent failure of the New York Times experts to even get one score correct in a five year span. Not a good record for the paper of record.

So with the Divisional playoffs here, I have decided to post my own daring predictions. I will attempt to accurately predict, not only the winner of each game this weekend but also the result of the coin toss at the beginning of the game. So without further ado:

Jets at Steelers
This game should easily go to the Steelers. Chad Pennington hasn't practiced all week with the stomach flu and Quincy Carter is not in Pittsburgh, as he is tending to his ailing mother. This will place more of the offensive burden on the Jets running game, and force them right into the strength of the Steeler defense.
I'm also going heads. As this is my first playoff coin toss prediction, I'm going with old reliable heads.
Prediction: Steelers. Heads

Rams at Falcons
This game is entirely on Mike Vick's shoulders. The Rams defense is not that great, but Vick has a tendency to cough up the ball at the most inopportune times. The Rams are also finally playing up to their potential. But I think that the often overlooked Atlanta defense will keep them below 20 points. If Vick doesn't implode, the Falcons will win.
I'm going to have to take tails on this one. Come on isn't obvious, two domed teams meeting in the playoffs, you just pick heads on that.
Prediction: Falcons, Tails.

Minnesota at Eagles
This game has more question marks than the Riddler's costume. Is Minnesota as good as they showed at Green Bay? Are the Eagles, who haven't played a meaningful game in a month, going to be rusty? Will Randy Moss be brave enough to moon the Eagle crowd too? (Side note: At the old Veteran's Stadium, Philadelphia Police installed a jail and a courtroom to handle and prosecute the drunken, rowdy, obnoxious Eagle fans.) Who will McNabb throw to with Owens out? With so many questions, you have to go with who is the better team. Clearly that would be the Eagles. More talent up and down the roster, so I'm going Eagles.
The more I think about this coin toss the more I like Heads. Both Philly and Minneapolis are fat cities. The people like large amounts of rich and heavy food. So the tail end will weigh more and fall to the ground, leaving the head on top.
Prediction: Eagles, Heads

Colts at Patriots
This is the game we've all been waiting for. Peyton Manning, with his obscene numbers, coming back New England. Last year's pasting at the hands of the Patriots was the reason for the re-emphasis on the no bumping after 5 yards rule. The Patriots may be the champs, but with a banged up secondary and the explosiveness of the Colts offense, I think they are going to lose this game. The Patriots play a ball control offense, and they will not be able to hang with the Colts if this game becomes a shootout. Peyton's simply has too many weapons for the Pats to deal with. I'm going with the Colts.
As I'm going with the upset in the game, I will also go with Tails. I just don't think heads has enough to pull this one out.
Prediction: Colts, Tails.

My mom could have a successful position in city government

For those of you who don't know, my mom is working as a pharmacy tech at the Target Store in Gurnee. She also has completed her Associates Degree from CLC. She has extensive business experience.

Why do I bring this up? Well, my mom is more qualified to be the town assessor for Cicero than the guy doing the job right now. The current Assessor, the guy who determines what your property is worth for the sake of taxes, is the 23 year old nephew of the town president. But your thinking maybe he has some financial background?

Nope. The week before he was working as a pharmacy tech at Walgreens. He has recently began work towards an associates degree at Morton College, having dropped out of the Pharmacy program at UIC.

Now I'm all for giving a guy a break. After all, the only reason that I wasn't kicked out of CLC was that I continued to pay the tutition. So I'm not casting stones about his experience in general. I'm just wondering if he's the right guy for this unelected job, without any sort of experience.

Oh did I mention that the Assessors job pays over $122,000 per year. Not a bad jump from the $11.00 an hour he was making at Walgreens.

Viking Moon Part Two

With all the uproar, and then backlash about the uproar regarding Randy's Moon, the response of Tony Dungy may have been lost in the shuffle. But the Colts Head Coach provides some very interesting insight into the situation.

According to Tony, the wonderful Green Bay Packer fans have a little tradition of mooning the bus of teams that the Packers beat. As the Vikings were firmly in control, it appears that Randy was just giving back to the Green Bay faithful what he undoubtedly received when the Vikings were last at Lambeau.

What's also interesting is that Dungy was the most vocal critic of ABC during the whole Monday Night Football dropped towel intro. He seems to be level headed enough to realize that the implied baring of ones backside can be done in different contexts, one sleazy and the other stupid and juvenile. And that the response to one does not have to be at the same level as the response to the other.

To all of my friends of the cloth

CNN reported this afternoon that a preacher died while giving a sermon. Click Here for the story The story states that the last words the preacher spoke were "And when I go to heaven...,".

Scottish Ale (and baby) bubbling away

This past Saturday, I blocked out the whole morning and afternoon to brew an 80 schilling Scottish Ale. This brew is to be my entry into the Drunk Monk Challenge for my brew club the Urban Knaves of Grain http://www.knaves.org/ and possibly the National Homebrew Competition. Nick and Sarah were going to be at the church to practice for the children's advent service on Sunday, so the only thing I had to do was to keep an eye on Amelia while I brewed.

And in the immortal words of Scottish Poet Robert Burns: The best-laid plans o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley, An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain For promised joy.

On Friday, Amelia came down with a nasty case of diarreha. So we began to feed her Pedialite, which does not fill her up like formula does. And as she is not filled up, she generally refuses to go to sleep. This of course makes for one angry baby. And that made for one long brewday.

But in the end, the brew seems to have come out fine. I hope the same goes for Amelia, we all could use the sleep.

Viking Moon

While watching the Green Bay - Minnesota game on Sunday, I was distracted by my screaming daughter as Randy Moss did his little drop trou' stunt. As such, I did not see the actual event. I did, however, hear Joe Buck's call. Hearing the call, I half expected to see Randy Moss raping and killing someone at Lambeau Field. Fox and ESPN were so shaken by this pretend moon that they refused to show clips of it during their highlight shows. When I finally got to see it I wondered what the fuss was all about.

How is a fake moon more disturbing than real punches?

These channels, and several others, had no qualms of repeatedly showing the Pacers - Pistons rumble in the Palace. Several people are now facing criminal charges from that fight, and that was worthy enough to air. Do these networks feel that showing felonies in progress is somehow more moral than a juvenile taunt?

Can't get enough of that tasty Duff

Yesterday in Federal Court, a highly connected contractor James Duff, plead guilty to "obtaining money from the city through fraudulently obtained contracts." What he actually did was to use his clout at city hall, he is after all one of the largest donors to Mayor Daley and his machine, to obtain contracts which should have gone to minorities through a variety of shell corporations. For more info see http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-050110duff,1,3446811.story?coll=chi-news-hed which details Duff's guilty plea.

But the more outrageous part of the story is the effort by Duff's lawyer to portray his client's acts as a wash for the city. He states that the city did not lose any money in the contracts as Chicago paid for janitorial services and Duff's companies provided them.

The city lost out on actually helping the contractors it is required to help. The city of Chicago has a quota on minority and women owned businesses. Those businesses lost out when Duff and the city rigged the contracts.

Welcome, would you like a tasty beverage?

Hey come on in. I'm a husband, father, lawyer, homebrewer, sports fan, news geek, policy wonk, right wing nut job.

I'm going to post my own thoughts and whatever else catches my fancy. So grab a cold one and have a good time.